Inspiration for A Priest's Discovery

This book, A Priest's Discovery [working title], was originally going to be a short story, but as the ideas kept flowing and the characters developed, the page count grew too. The ideas for the book came from various sources such as people I was inspired or influenced by and places I have been. Most of all, it was my own experience balancing my curious mind and my faith, a duo that has not always acted as an alliance.

Being raised in a Catholic household and attending a local parish regularly was where it all started. The Sunday school stories and activities were wholesome and beautiful. I grew up holding onto the lessons they taught. However, this all changed when I transferred schools my sophomore year to attend a Catholic high school where I was required to take a theology class, which ended up being my favorite class (other than English, of course). Learning more about the faith and how to practice more intently led to a lot of questions. I couldn't understand why the stories I was being retold were not as "beautiful" as I remembered in Sunday school.

As I read more Bible passages, the stories were often messy, confusing, and sometimes grotesque. I began asking questions; "What does this Bible passage mean?"; "If God is so merciful, how is there a Hell?"; "Why are miracles granted to some believers and not others?"; Or, "how can we know we have this 'religion-thing' right since there are so many denominations?" To be honest, many of these questions haunt me to this day. The number of questions as well as the seriousness of them made me feel as though my faith was slowly collapsing. I never hesitated to ask such things to my theology teacher or the priests that would hang out with us. They always answered to the best of their abilities with such humbleness and grace. I enjoyed learning about it all, but I wanted to know more. As I began college, I explored different Protestant denominations to see if I could find some answers I wan't able to find in Catholic circles.

Jumping from Catholicism to an array of Protestant denominations has shown me how messy a journey for answers and information can be. It also taught me that not everyone is accepting of people with curious minds and to be cautious who you ask questions to. The best way I can summarize my experience with faith is with a quote from the movie The Rite where actor Anthony Hopkins portrays Father Lucas Trevant. The quote is this: "There's something that keeps digging and scraping away, inside me. Feel's like God's fingernail--and, finally I can take no more of the pain, and I get shoved out from the darkness back into the light." My experience resonates with this sentiment precisely. After experiencing Protestant churches and groups, I eventually found myself back in Catholic circles. Though, I still occasionally attend a local non-denominational church that I like. Regardless of which church I attend or whether or not I have all of the answers, my relationship with God has grown significantly and I am grateful for all of the experiences that have brought me to this point.

Through all of this, I am very fortunate to have been raised in a household where my parents encouraged me to question and seek answers. Even more so, they allowed me to go through the points in time where I began to doubt the faith entirely without feeling guilt or shame. Ultimately, this support is what allowed me to grow in my faith and have a deeper relationship with God. I know many people who were not allowed such freedom, so I try never to take my upbringing for granted. Their support led me to minor in world religions as an undergraduate and later pursue a master's degree in library and information science. With the degree, I was able to enhance my research skills in order to find the information I was after and help others in their quests for knowledge.

I was originally going to call this post the "inspiration for a religious murder mystery." Not only was that super wordy, but the story is so much more than that. Though murder mystery is the plot, it is really a story about faith and the deep-rooted struggle to keep it when life gets complicated and confusing. I still don't have answers to all of my questions, so I consider myself on a life-long scavenger hunt. A Priest's Discovery was merely a creative way to express my own experience with faith and the struggle within my mind to comprehend it.